I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
