I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
