this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
