My brain says no but my pants say off.
We named our party play list daddy issues
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
