i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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