i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
