look no pants
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
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