JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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