Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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