He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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