the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
