It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
