I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
