and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
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I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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