Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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