I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
