its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
