thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
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