shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
