the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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