I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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