This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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