don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Semen is not good for contacts.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
