another moral hangover. fuck.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize