Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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