First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
