So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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