Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
