Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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