I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
