Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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