so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
