Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
