She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
