wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
