Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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