I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
