WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
