Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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