is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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