I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
no, he came in my armpit
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
