you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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