this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
