oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
