with your own penis?
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
