don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
