if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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