he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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