i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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