I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
They should really pass out barf bags in church
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
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