She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
