i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
