you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
