I think im going to throw up on grandma
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
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