HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Randomize
