You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
