I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Randomize
